Eight Nigerians you’ll spot on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is finally here.

While the day is about sharing love, many people will be alone, heartbroken or with their lovers.

As with the previous Valentine’s Day, this year, single pringles will be subjected to pressure while the lovebirds will get many ‘awwing’ away.

If you live in Nigeria, you are sure to come across one or more of the eight categories of people on Valentine’s Day.

Instagram “Pepper Dem” Lovers

This category comprises social media couples with the sole intention to ‘pepper’ everyone. These people would begin the morning by oppressing everyone with pictures and reels of their Valentine’s Day outings. They are dearly loved because they have a set of online inlaws who will flock around their pages and send genuine love and cute-eyed emojis alongside lovely comments, including the famous line, “God when”.

Instagram couple
Instagram couple

They are also met by the bitter biters who flock to their comment section with comments like “it would end in tears.”

To-match couple

This set of couples would not only stay on the gram, but they would also bring the pepper dem theme everywhere.

You can easily spot them from their outfits, especially when they are young couples. They would wear the same clothes, sneakers, and eye wears.

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To Match Couples
To Match Couples

Although their intention is not to oppress, however, they do that to pull off this agenda.

Trenches Lovers

Love is everywhere, and these guys find a way to make it work; these razz sets of people come from the trenches.

These guys often appear to the odd couples; they also seem to take a clue from the first two categories wearing to-match and posting on social media.

Either way, they found love in a hopeless place.

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Breakfast Crew

Siri, play ‘Last last’ by Burnaboy.

This crew consists of those who would receive the shocks of their lives.

Text from the Breakfast crew
Text from the Breakfast crew

These people would realise that they have been dating themselves.

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While others are receiving Valentine’s packages and ‘I love you so much’ alerts, they would be waking up to break up text or pictures of their partners on their best friends’ page.

On Valentine’s day, the breakfast crew would eat a sumptuous meal of disappointment.

Siri played us ‘Soso’ by Omah Lay.

Tom’s and Jerry’s (public fighting couples)

These couples would put their garbage outside today; they have been looking for a chance to break up or fight dirty.

They’d get their wish today as they’d trigger public fights over silly things like restaurant choice or looking elsewhere.

Fighting Couple
Fighting Couple

If you see them today, avoid them. If not, they will settle their matter on your head.

Cheating Cartel, “As fast as a Cheetah”

This evil cartel consists of the Yoruba demons, aka Femi or Bayo. The cartel would have a hard time today pursuing their multiple partners.

Brother Femi after he's caught cheating
Brother Femi after he’s caught cheating

They would have to play the speed game of hangman hence “as fast as a Cheetah”. Hopefully, the rich ones won’t be bothered about spending.

Status: Complicated

Many from the different categories would end up in this category by the end of the day.

Trenches Couple
Trenches Couple

This category is too complex to explain because everyone has multiple scenarios that lead to their relationships being complicated.

Single Pringles

Last but not least, this is the category I fall into. In this category, we plan on sitting down and watching all other types do their thing on social media.

We have no plans to step outside from the comfort of our homes, so we would be their online inlaws, Judge and Jury, while we watch Wura on showmax or You on Netflix

Our motto today would be “Love is in the air…wear a face mask”.

Either way, we are not out of the dark skies as most of us would ask ‘God when’ 1000 times by the end of the day.

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